Monthly Archives: August 2007

Timesuck Top 10

Timesuck Top 10

10. Considering writing a blog. Write the dumb blog. It'll only be sand-blasted into the internet forever. Your words will likely be at once un-losable and lost; probably no one will ever read them, but everyone will be able to forever.
9. Considering "becoming an expert" on something (thanks to the internet, I made my cat an expert on pet products, and she's threatening to book more speaking engagements than me.)
8. The twenty minutes lying in bed between when the alarm goes off and you start meditating. Instead: two minutes to jot down notes about what you dreamed, and onto the mat.
7. Most internet research.
6. The rest of the internet research.
5. Time spent deciding but not making a decision.
4. Any of the "deadly sins" are just a waste of time (albeit a really unpleasant waste of time for all involved, but I might go so far as to say that the biggest sin is wasting time.) In Judaism, the word for sin is chait, meaning to miss the mark. It's not really a value judgment so much as a way of re-aligning one's aim, which is never a timesuck.
3. Being in a hurry is actually a waste of time. Discuss.
2. Let's throw in guilt and worry.
1. How silly would it be to say "reading blogs?" This is known as a callback. The callback ties everything up in a neat little bow.

Timesuck Top 10

Timesuck Top 10

10. Considering writing a blog. Write the dumb blog. It’ll only be sand-blasted into the internet forever. Your words will likely be at once un-losable and lost; probably no one will ever read them, but everyone will be able to forever.

9. Considering “becoming an expert” on something (thanks to the internet, I made my cat an expert on pet products, and she’s threatening to book more speaking engagements than me.) Read the rest of this entry

bio

bio

Standup comedian Alicia Dattner dedicates her life to perceiving The Grand Cosmic Joke: that pain exists for us to take ourselves less seriously, to laugh, and to experience the joy and wonder of an infinitely perfect universe.

This whole crazy thing started when Alicia was eight years old and watched the HBO comedy special Comic Relief for the first time. And the second time, and the third time, and twenty-two more times after that. While other kids were wearing out their videocassette copies of Cinderella and He-Man, Alicia wore the tape through on her video of Comic Relief. Something in it deeply appealed to her?????? The way Robin, Whoopi, and Billy made light of homelessness???????and at the same time raised awareness and money to change the situation. They weren??????t reverent or politically correct???????they were just funny. This was also her first exposure to the comedy of Sid Cesar??????s silent clowning, George Carlin??????s routine about Stuff, and Gary Shandling??????s poetic neurosis.

There were more episodes, like the first time she got paid ($5.00) to do comedy at eight years old. On a trip to San Francisco, Chris Pray, an improviser and actor friend of Alicia's mom's, put her in the show and did some comedy duo patter that killed.

Or the first time Alicia absolutely brought down the house at age 14, for an audience of two hundred. She'd volunteered to be in a comedy sketch with an "ayruvedic doctor-clown", (anybody know who that guy was?) doing psychic surgery, and she played the slapstick and dramatic irony with him to a tee.

Alicia did standup for the first time a few days after her 19th birthday. She had just listened to Emo Philip's "Live at the Hasty Pudding Theatre" album with fellow Hampshire College student Eugene Mirman.

Since then, she has continued to write and perform standup comedy. Today, her voice is loud and clear. Influenced by comedians like Woody Allen, Ellen DeGeneres, and Marc Maron, her humor is playful and spontaneous yet finely tuned. Alicia makes fun of the intensely personal and yet entirely universal struggles we face (or avoid) with a level of honesty and originality we don't often see. Alicia calls this unique brand of humor "Human Comedy". She surfs the stage with a Buddhist calm, navigates truth with dangerous wit, and leaves a wake of uncontrollable laughter.

 

 

"I love San Francisco, but the neighborhood politics are complicated. The people next door put up a sign that says, "No on 226", and it freaks me out, because that's my house number."

"I listen to NPR all day. Their pledge drive is on again… 'If you're listening, you should be donating!' I finally realized it's time to do the adult thing. Stop listening."

"I've been trying this raw food diet for a couple of weeks now… just found out you're not supposed to eat cookie dough."

"I am so tired. You ever think, 'I just wasted the entire day on the computer. I gotta go watch some TV."

"Have you noticed Valentine's Day is terrible when you don't have a good Valentine? Same thing with President's Day."