Category Archives: Time-Management

Time is like a very slow (or fast) moving disease. You can’t cure it. But you can manage it.

Save time, talk less.

Save time, talk less.

Lifehacks are valuable when they not only save you time but improve the quality of your life. This one sure will.

Do this: stop using vocal speech pauses. omit “uh, um, ah, like, so, well, etc.” from your speech.

This is the old argument: people who don’t say “um” all the time sound more professional and more intelligent. Of course quantum physicists say “um”. Of course people on the radio say “um” (but we don’t hear it any more because they’ve got computer programs that automatically edit it out–perhaps the first time in history a computer program is invented to actually make the people seem smarter.) My friend John says we’re always smarter on paper. I sure am. I recently listened to myself on the radio, and I sound like a babbling brook called “Uhhhhhh River.” That’s why I write the jokes before I go on stage.

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What’s your GSD-Q?

What’s your GSD-Q?

Of course there are a lot of great personality tests out there.. Myers-Briggs, the Enneagram, EQ, etc.

The test I offer here, the GSD-Q is great because you only have to look at three simple diagrams and you can “type” yourself within a few seconds. The other great thing about the test is that whichever type you are, you can make an instant shift in every area just by adding a dose of the other two types.

Take a moment to clear your mind, breathe deeply, and sit comfortably. When you are ready, look at the next three images for about three seconds each.

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getting shit done late

getting shit done late

it’s midnight. the metaphorical kids are asleep. the metaphorical bone is hanging out of the dog’s metaphorical mouth dripping with hypothetical saliva. imaginary husbands and wives are fake fast asleep, snoring and dreaming of calorie-free coffee heath bar ice cream. at long last you are alone, and with a sense of dread, you move toward the solemn tasks collected in the last several weeks.

you write a check for health insurance, begrudgingly noting that your policy has increased in cost by 88% in the last four years. you inwardly squeal with small delight in your first GSD triumph of the day. a bill paid. and, using for the first time a sticker with your address on it, greatly increasing your efficiency. that’s perhaps 30 seconds of writing you can deposit directly in your time bank ™. absolutely free time, or as i like to call it, discretionary time.

how to you save in your time bank? 2 in 1 shampoo and conditioner? save customer service calls for commute hours? say goodbye to energy vampires? pretend you only need six hours of sleep? skip boring sentences in bedtime stories?

how do you spend that discretionary time?

pimp my org

pimp my org

getting shit done: the art of pimping out your organizational system for maximum speed and optimum pleasure.

there’s a chain of events that causes your splendidly planned organizational system to purr like a finely tuned ride or sputter and clunk like some shitty car, an example for which i can’t think of right now. never mind that. the question is: after all this work organizing everything, are you actually getting shit done now, and if not, why not? have you streamlined the seven hours of work you used to do into one hour in order to spend six hours staring at your thumbs? or do you now know exactly what each next action is and everything is so clear it’s scary? have you gotten so clear you’ve thrown the action list out your window, for fear you might actually get all your shit done? what happens if you do get everything done? what will tether you to this earthly realm? if there’s nothing more for you to do, will you still have a purpose? it’s ok, you didn’t have a purpose in the first place–at least, not one that’s fulfilled by the items on your action list… but i digress.

procrastination: your secret weapon.

do you believe that there are uber-organized geniuses whose sheer throughput you will never surpass? yeah, i guess there are. but you and i, we’ve got the next best thing: the secret weapon of procrastination. ever try to get one thing done all day, like writing a business plan, avoid it for hours and hours on end, and subsequently get 18 other things done instead? i just installed a keyboard tray, cleaned my apartment, cleaned out two closets and sorted out two boxes of crap to go to goodwill, worked out at the gym, met with two clients, answered ALL of my email, and worked on my website. all under the ominous threat of writing a business plan. everybody that gets anything done has a secret procrastionation weapon. you think bill gates just gets shit done cause he’s perky? no! he’s probably got to take the garbage out at his house, and he’s a neat-freak, so he goes to work all day just to avoid it, and earns three billion dollars, so he can pay the housekeeper to do it.

ok, goodnight.

it’s incremental.

it’s incremental.

getting shit done: the building blocks.

“a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” -Confucius

i love starting projects. the brainstorming. the new ideas springing forth like athena from zeus. the world rolling out at my feet. the wind in my hair. everything opens up. there’s a palpable sense of possibility. the sun breaks through the clouds. nothing can stop me. except the next step of the project (but i’ll address this discursively).

and there are a lot of ideas out there. some fall away (or get shot down by well-meaning friends–never tell people your unhatched ideas), some you nurse and coo into being, and others seem to arrive fully-formed and raise themselves. choosing to support the project whose brilliance shines through you is wise. the strength of the project and of your conviction will naturally attract the generous assistance of others, and we want to be part of something bigger.

so you choose a project. wind in hair. high as a kite. etc. it’s likely you’ll eventually hit a point of resistance. what happens then? you and your big ideas. you dreamer, you. what were you thinking? all the right things. just too fast. and it’s dangerous when you’re that high.

so i’ve spent a lot of years with big ideas. and turned a few of them into big projects. and struggled with frustration and resistance and doubt. and i’ve discovered a secret. the best way i’ve found to bring an idea to fruition is to move in (almost imperceptible) increments with unshakable dedication to the smallest of efforts.

example: eating one dozen donuts in a sitting. you can’t do that shit all at once. you start with a bite a day. within a few weeks, you could be eating dozens of donuts per day. mmm, heart attack.

example: you aspire to cover your entire house with small colorful sticky dots for a very large game of finger Twister. whee!

example: one day you could hold the world’s record for the most jumps on a pogo stick.

example: worldwide nuclear disarmament and ensuing reign of peace.

example: thinking of a lot of examples.

example: learning esperanto. actually, that’s dumb. don’t bother.

slow and steady. slow and steady.